My mood is has been confusing lately. I can get like that occasionally. I'm in this kinda transition mode between St. Kitts and Antigua > home > Maine. It's that time of the year for Miquela, too, so I share her sentiments. Just ten days away from leaving St. Kitts, various thoughts run through my head. I am so thankful and happy about being here and everything that has happened. When will I see these great friends again? Did I work hard enough? What will I take away from here? What will I leave behind? What's next? There's a too much of the last question, though. I'm really trying to stay focussed on the now, despite being aware that "the now" is quickly disappearing.

Over the weekend, I visited the wonderful Williams in Nevis. I got a decent share of sun (working on Lloyd's lettuce farm – Nevis Hydro Gardens) and food (compliments of chef Millie). They wanted to fatten me up before sending me home; everyone has been saying I lost weight, which I guess is a result of me being more responsible for having food to eat than I have been before. We had Feast on Sunday. Even though I was/wanted to be happy to be there, I couldn't let it shine bright as I hoped for some reason. ... Oh, on the ferry to Nevis, I met a brother (7) and sister (9) who were fleeing Guyana with their family because someone wanted to kill them. Yes, it's a sick, sad world, but these innocent children need not be brought into the mess. I joyfully welcomed them to the Federation. We had a lot of fun learning about each other!

Ruby Thomas – the best guidance counsellor in the Federation – organised another camp for this Monday through Thursday. The theme is "Moving to Excellence", so it's about the kids striving for the best in "what I think and say and do" (quote from the camp's pledge). After the first day, I felt rejected because the kids, well, rejected the activity I tried and called me "white man" and "anti-man". But Cristina approriately reminded me that my interaction with the children is not about me. Very true. My role is to unconditionally shower them with love, understanding and support. The second day – today – I was the A/V dude / resource room operator, so I didn't get as much direct interaction with the children. However, the limited one-on-one time I did had was very positive. I can tell that a lot of them are learning about themselves and/or are feeling the results of loving attention, which is rare for many of this group.

Tonight, CJ, Kay and I got into the actual planning of the coming weekend's junior youth intensive for Breezes of Confirmation. We're not expecting it to go perfectly as planned, but that's a lesson Kay put into words for me: Plan ahead thoroughly, and let them change along the way; otherwise, you'll be winging everything and do a poor job. Boy, we're having so much fun just planning it and imagining how it will be with the junior youth on Saturday. I can only imagine what it will be like to get the real animator training.

Next up: Tying up loose ends before it's too late. But first, bed!

Music: Moby & my Bedtime playlist